I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
