the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
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