He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
