So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
