I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
