I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
