What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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