You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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