dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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