Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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