Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
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