So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
