guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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