omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I'm always down for nudity.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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