ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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