Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize