Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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