me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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