She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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