margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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