ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
