But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
