But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
