So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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