dude i'm inner monologue high
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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