I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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