wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
