there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
