I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
