What a fucking waste of an outfit
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
