Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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