yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
