So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
