we're blogging at a bar
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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