Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
