At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
