Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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