Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
