Betty ford says i'm here all night
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
