you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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