New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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