What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
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