Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
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