I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
