well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
