I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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