You're my little dorito
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
How naked do you want me to be?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
