Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize
