Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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