Who did Billy Mays play for?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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