Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
