So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Randomize
