At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
